From Conflict to Collaboration: Restoring Civility in the Workplace

Managers are telling us that people are falling out lately, over a whole raft of social and political viewpoints. It seems that in the last few years, we have forgotten how to be civil or have meaningful debate. Simple differences of opinion are spiralling out of control as people resort to anger, become over-reactive or retreat into defensive or polarised thinking.

The poor people skills we are see across our media seems to be fuelling a rash of unreasonable behaviour. From all corners we are fed conflict as culture. This makes working together especially challenging and fosters a climate of hostility leaving people anxious and exhausted. We are all having to deal with complex global, regional, and personal issues, so at work we expect a sense of civility and fellowship.

Choose an appropriate forum.

The workplace is seldom an appropriate forum for expressing strong opinions on contentious issue. If we fancy a good argument, we should have it with those who can teach us something, and in an environment conducive to deep discussion. In our current, over-heated political climate, we are struggling to deal with those who can’t handle diverse opinion and don’t know how to conduct themselves in productive debate.

Get off your soapbox.

Contrary to current thinking, it’s not always a good idea to bring one’s whole self to work, but rather only the working parts. That doesn’t mean we can’t be authentic, express our personalities, tastes, and opinions but should do this in a sensitive, respectful way, allowing others the same privilege. Using the workplace as a stage on which to soapbox politics of any kind is poor form.

Confusing our working relationships with those in our private sphere can prove unwise. Although colleagues might become friends, our relationships at work should always be conducted in a spirit of professional collaboration. If we see our colleagues as our internal customers, and value and treat them as such, the respectful care will mitigate friction and set the tone for innovation and creative thinking.

Leading by example

It’s unfortunate that we’re so seldom exposed to positive role models who can resolve issues and moderate conflict. Identifying these people or training them up can profoundly improve internal communications and help foster a more humane and personable environment.

Improving conduct can be a slow burn, but the drip-feed of positive role modelling can be both effective and cost effective. A healthy organisational culture makes the workplace a safe space in a chaotic world. Encouraging an open-minded approach, practicing good manners, and affording a little grace is bound to improve the workplace dynamic.

Having a system to deal with conflict ensures that most issues can are resolved quickly, fairly and without prejudice. People then feel reassured, are better able to find their own solutions and feel more confident about mediation if it’s needed. Although conflict is as natural as cooperation, we learn these by emulating those around us, so our working environments are a good place to practice civility and diplomacy.

Finding common ground

Many people struggle to sit comfortably with uncomfortable ideas. Learning to hold space for or at least tolerate another’s viewpoint is an exercise in cognitive flexibility. The all too familiar black/ white, good/bad, right/wrong polarised thinking destroys our ability to find common ground and shuts down the possibility of moving forward.

Learning to attack the problem and not the person is a skill we can apply to any issue. By not letting an argument become a personal attack, we can focus on the areas where we do agree and allow space for further reflection.

As the philosopher, Kalk Popper remarked, ‘the aim of argument or of discussion, should not be victory, but progress’ and isn’t this what we’re all at work to achieve?

Written by MHScot Team Member, Sonia Last.